A guest entry by Carl Orr

Below is the text written by Carl Orr, a friend of mine. Carl sent it out "in good fun" and as one of its recipients I asked for the permission to put it here.

I've known and admired Carl's biting pen for a while. In the 80-ies he Americanized my script about an amnesia suffering dragon and "Dragon Charlie" was born. Although this script remains unproduced, it does not want to be forgotten. Could the text below be one of its growls of impatience?

The text is titled "From Russia, With Love and Hisses."

OBAMA BUCKLES. PUTIN CHUCKLES. KERRY BLABBERS. CLINTON SLOBBERS. A BALL THROWN WITH A SPIN WOBBLES. AND A COBBLER COBBLES. GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY PABLUM THAT WE MAY KNOW NOTHING AND THINK NOTHING. AMEN. AND JUST REMEMBER THE COLD WAR DRILL FOR CHILDREN: GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES. PUT YOUR HEAD BETWEEN YOUR LEGS AND KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE. IT'S STILL 1984 IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE. WE HAVE NO SAY. ALL VOTES GO INTO A HOLE WHERE THEY BURN IN HELL. AND THE DEVILS STILL RULE THE EARTH IN THE BODIES OF MEN.THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN FREEDOM ARE FOOLS. WE ARE ALL WILLING SLAVES ON THIS SHIP OF STATE. CHAINED TO THE OARS WHILE THE CAPTAIN GIVES US STEAK FOR BREAKFAST AND WANTS TO WATER SKI AFTER LUNCH. THE LUNATICS HAVE TAKEN OVER THE ASYLUM. PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS. THEY KNOW YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG. YOU'LL GET A BILL IN THE MAIL. NO ONE GETS OUT WITHOUT PAYING A FEE. NO ONE GETS OUT ALIVE. YOUR TAXES HAVE BEEN RAISED. YOUR TAXES ARE OVERDUE. THERE IS A PENALTY. YOU NEED TO TALK TO AN ATTORNEY. SEE YOU IN COURT. A JUDGEMENT HAS BEEN GIVEN. THERE IS NO MONEY FOR THAT PROGRAM. WE ALREADY WENT OVER THAT. TIME TO LEAVE. TIME TO SPEND. TIME TO WASTE. WE HAVE THREE MORE YEARS ON THIS ROCK AND IN THIS HOLE AND WHIPPED BLOODY BY NBC,CBS, ABC, PBS, NET, BET, AND ALL THE REST OF THE PROPAGANDA DEVICES PUT IN PLACE TO DRILL HOLES IN YOUR STORY AND PLANT CLUES TO THE LAST SUPPER AND THE LAST MEAL AND THE LAST CRUMB. AND I'M NOT TALKING ROBERT THE COMIC STRIP ARTIST. WE ARE CONTROLLED BY THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT, BY HOMELAND SECURITY, THE CIA, THE FBI, BARF, CDC, DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE, INTERIOR, COMMERCE, AND OF COURSE THE EPA. GET ON YOUR KNEES AND SAY AFTER ME. HAVE A NICE DAY. HAVE A HOT DOG. JOIN PAY GIVE ACCEPT AND BE A GOOD BOY/GIRL OR WHATEVER THE CASE MAY BE. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WORRY ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES BUT IF YOU SURVIVE YOU NEED HEALTH CARE. AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS A NEW PAIR OF SOCKS. CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF WHEN DONE. THIS IS NOT BURGER KING, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT YOUR WAY. WASH YOUR OWN BOWL. NO SWIMMING. NO FISHING. NO THIS AND NOT THAT. AMERICA HOME OF THE FREE LUNCH AND FOOD STAMPS. GOD BLESS ALL THE DEAD PRESIDENTS. GOD BLESS AMERIKA. GOD SAVE THE QUEEN. DON'T YOU WISH WE WERE ALL REALLY SOMETHING OTHER THAN FREE? WHAT A CROCK. THIS RANT INCLUDED. THINK YOUR OWN THOUGHTS. IF YOU CAN WEED OUT WHAT YOU WERE TAUGHT TO 'BELIEVE' AND TAUGHT TO 'DO'. AIN'T IT A SHAME? ALL DRESSED UP AND NO PLACE TO GO. HOW MANY FEET HAVE BEEN ON THE MOON? IT'S A TRICK QUESTION. WHEN YOU EXIT PLEASE WATCH YOUR STEP. NO TALKING TO THE DRIVER. NO EATING. NO DRINKS. NO SMOKING. NO PARKING. NO LOITERING. NO JAKE BRAKES. NO SHOES NO SHIRT NO SERVEE. I AM FOR THIS AND AGAINST THAT. I HAVE ALREADY BEEN THERE AND DONE SOME OF MOST OF IT AND INTEND TO GO BACK AND SEE, EAT, RIDE, THE REST. NO ENTRY. NO EXIT. NO SHIT. HAVE A NICE DAY. HAVE A BLESSED DAY. HAVE ANY FUCKING KIND OF DAY YOU WANT. HAVE AT IT. HAVE ANOTHER. GO FOR BROKE. GO TO HELL. GO OUT WITH A BANG. TAKE IT TO THE BANK. TAKE IT OUTSIDE. TAKE ONE. TAKE TWO. WANT OUT OR WANT IN? WHICH ONE WERE YOU? POINT. I SEE WHERE YOU WERE. TAKE NOTHING BUT PICTURES AND LEAVE NOTHING BUT FOOTPRINTS. A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK. ONE OF MANY. OF A KIND. ONE DAY. ONCE UPON A TIME. LIVE ONCE DIE TWICE. JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER/FATHER. JUST ANOTHER DAY IN HELL. JUST ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE. JUST DO IT. JUSTICE FOR ALL. NO JUSTICE NO ICE CREAM. NO JUSTICE NO NOISE. PLEASE DON'T FEED THE BEARS. THIS IS THE END.

by Carl Orr